For It All

If you live your life being afraid to die
then you probably have only
been living a lie,
because those afraid of death
know nothing about life.

You ought to hurry and get to living
rather than worry
about the Grim Reaper reaping.

Through it all,

I find comfort in knowing
that if it was my time,

And today was the day
God chose to greet me,

I would say,

“Thank you for it all,”
and go forward boldly.


Night Sail

When I lay me down to sleep,

The monsters below begin to creep.

The farther down their nasty lair,

The stronger their hold, with strength to spare.

 

With sleep as my boat and dreams as oars,

I quietly sail and pray to the Lord

To steer me safely with the wind behind

Yet, I know He will test if my faith be blind.

 

With trepidation I sail into the deep,

Waters roughen, no voices speak.

From depths of stormy seas within me

Angry devils rise with fury.

 

Capsized, paralyzed, with no sight or words,

I am choking, flailing, with no aid coming towards.

I feel their grasp; merciless and hateful.

Tears, salt, sea, I swallow by the mouthful.

 

Thrashing in darkness, I continue to sink under.

I hope for intervention, lightning or thunder.

With the last of my sight, I see a blurred night sky…

Kicking for freedom, I strain my thighs.

 

Amidst agonizing defeat, a twinkling thought-

I suddenly remember old foes I’ve fought.

I surface for a second and gulp fresh air,

Awakened by wind tearing through my hair.

 

Tears into the sea,

These waters stir within me,

These ogres were born inside me,

From my very own darkness,

Anxieties brewing catastrophe.

 

I own these beasts – an ounce of pain, a ton of steel,

Their strength is my strength, I hold the reel.

My neck is bound by their grip

But the lasso is in my hands; I crack the whip.

 

Their hold is released, our roles reversed,

I’ve harnessed the dragon, undone the perverse.

Lacking oxygen, and fighting for sight,

I straddle this beast and bind it tight

At the throat and I pull until my veins are blue,

Destroying the lies that destroy my truth.

 

I kill this creature and stare into its eyes,

This wicked nemesis I’ve glimpsed many times,

 

With a face so vengeful and familiar,

 

Looking back at me from the window in my mirror.

 

 


Rush Hour

A Buddhist monk
Boards my morning rush hour train
Maybe he’s part of the Tibetan Mission
To the UN
travelling to visit this borough of New York
Where his family has emigrated

There is always room
To ponder
when a Buddhist monk enters
smiling as anyone else
seemingly comfortable and so familiar
in his holiness amidst the un-holiness
of public cross-borough transportation

It makes me ask myself why
I couldn’t have gotten up thirty minutes
earlier and practiced some yoga
to send myself off into the day with the light
beside me, as they say,
“Namaste.”

It makes me wonder how
early the monk had risen and how
many heads he’s blessed with how
Many prayers he’s sent into the Universe
And would I be just as blessed
If he were to graze my head as I passed by?
I stood close for the chance to receive
my blessing

I suppose from where his home is
and the places hes travelled to
he must have seen all and been phased by none
I wonder if anyone else questioned themselves
this morning as they rode in the presence of enlightenment
Surely the man across from me
eating a can of Pringle’s for breakfast must have
silently vowed to better his health

Chance, the person who can’t decide if
they’re more comfortable as my friend or my foe

The day passes in a speeding blur
I don’t know if im having a good time
or losing in a whirlwind of living
without thinking
It’s hard to focus and everything I do
is subject to indictment by my own mind
Honestly
I’m not quite sure what I’m doing,
but I’m doing the best goddamn job of it still

I hurdle, 400 meters at a time
with baton in hand, counting my blessings
in the storms of
‘I want’, ‘I wish’, ‘I should’
hoping there’s someone around the bend
to pass the stick off to
so I can feel victory, just a sip of it, for a moment
and understand the feeling of
‘I am’

Choice, the illusion which so easily triumphs
over my friends and my foes.

I look around to see who’s watching me
the familiar face I catch is my own
I run and as fast as I run I am still earthbound
I swim and hide under the depths
but am purged upwards on land
here, where my battles are.
I didn’t get to choose.


Water Sign

I am faceless
In a body of water
Gathering, always gathering

It starts with three
As I try to escape my current reality
By drowning in vodka
I do too good of a job escaping
And I’m a bad swimmer

There’s a boy with the knit scarf
and dark rimmed glasses
but, that may be the problem: he’s a boy
I need a man
and the man is there
I find him in the form of a well dressed,
soft spoken stranger
but he scares me because his eyes don’t agree
with his words.

I am heightened, out of myself,
and from above I trust less and less
I see subtlety
I spread my wings as if to land finally
and realize, grounded,
I have never left
three heads on the ground, they surround me

The last one, he has always been there
watching when he thinks I’m unaware
but aspiring towards redemption
I become the eagle,
and unlike his fallen, crawling, scorpion brother,
am always aware
this man in his striped cardigan
rejects me and the torment I suffer
I keep within, a sunburst sore searing me
inside

A faceless flight,
I pray for transcendence
to leave this place and land where I’m wanted

The face
of my body
surrounded by Water
I gather
the courage to walk into Fire.


Whispers

Longings fly

on the back of a leaf

as it blows through the air

from

one heart

to

one ear.


Tomorrow

Blinding light, soaring flight…

Swallow,

Swim,

Sweat

Through the fight.

My coveted, my prize;

I seek refuge for the night.

 


Burning Dreams

A burning ember
deep within.
A cloak of lies on
hardened skin.
Canaries’ songs erased by
wind.
Flames,
now fanned,
stand tall -
begin.


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