Flame, White & Gold – In The Air, Out to Sea and Beneath My Feet

As I continue to practice cathartic releases in the form of metaphorical actions within my mind, I hope that they will cause a physical “purging” from my mind and body. But, since these actions remain within me, I need “witnesses” to bear testimony to them. So these witnesses are you. This is what I “spent my day doing”. The first activity is for Xxx. The second is for Xxxxxx. The third is for Xxxxxxx. Simply because every time I “release” I must release again for Xxxxxxx. After all, it is like a tumor that I can only remove the majority of each time.

Scalding hot and flaming white, I take this sphere and blow on it to cool it down. Then juggling it from hand to hand to avoid searing myself, I wrap this in pink chiffon and tie a pretty white ribbon around it. I grasp it with the full palm of my right hand and, winding up from my waist to my shoulder, I launch this sizzling sphere as hard and as far as my arms have the power to into the atmosphere. I watch it for as long as I can, until the sphere becomes a moving speck in the sky, hurtling up and up into the distance. I wait and I assume it has reached its destination in the clouds because I see a tiny burst of flame and sprinkles of debris. Then a magenta lightening bolt explodes into an array of warm colored daggers throughout the clouds coloring the immediate area with blinding streaks of light as it dissipates outward until the palest of the colors fade into the blurred white clouds. I stand there for a moment looking up at the sky. I feel satisfied. I will be patient now and wait for an indefinite amount of time, sometime into the future, until the energy I’ve released upwards may (hopefully) shower back down on me again in whatever form the Universe decides to re-introduce it.

I am at the beach. The sand is cool and soft and I sink in with every step I take. The texture is refreshing and reassuring. I walk as close to the water as possible without having my feet touch it. I don’t want to be submerged in any way. I take out this sphere. It is white, solid but fragile. It is also very clean. I take out a rag and wipe it down quickly once more. I wrap this in white chiffon and tie it with a white ribbon. I place my right foot back, and grasping this sphere in my right hand, I exhale with one strong thrust of my right arm as I skip it into the ocean. It goes pretty far, with a good speed and skips once then sinks into the water. I watch through the ripples. A large wave comes. It has disappeared from sight. I see no signs of this sphere at all. I wait for a moment. Acknowledging that it must be sinking and drifting farther and farther away, I silently hope that the energy in this sphere will slowly dissolve and work its way through the waters, travelling to wherever it is most appropriate before surfacing again and evaporating into the Universe.

I am at an apple orchard. I walk through rows of apple trees until I find a few trees with powerful looking trunks and roots that appear to be buried in dense, healthy mounds of the earth. I take out this sphere that has been heavily weighing down my pocket. I use both hands to handle it. This is a gold sphere, solid, dense and heavy. It gleams. I wrap this in red chiffon and tie it with white ribbon. I set this down carefully beside me, squatting down to place it on the ground. I remembered to bring a heavy duty shovel. I shovel for close to two hours. I look down at the well I’ve created. It looks ominous as I peer over the edge. I take a step back to steady myself. As ominous as it is, it also has a slightly comforting feel, with the consistent dark brown color of dirt. I walk over to the sphere. Using both hands again I carry it over to the well I’ve dug. I inhale deeply, then exhale slowly and let both hands go, dropping this sphere into the hole. There is a distinct THUD as it hits the bottom. It sways back and forth a bit and, as I suspected might happen, the weight and impact of it causes the sphere to fall right through what I thought was the bottom of the hole. It disappears into darkness. I have released this energy before. It has come back time and again. At this point in my life, the energy has grown and consolidated into the substance that lives in that gold sphere. I am saddened that I have released it yet again, since it has grown into such a large mass. I am immediately overcome with sadness and heartache. But as I kneel over the edge, straining my eyes to see into the darkness at the bottom of this well. I receive some comfort. We are bound to the earth. Good things come from the earth. I have released so much energy into the earth within that gold sphere that I know it will eventually seep out slowly. The energy will rise, latching on to the roots of all things that grow beneath our feet. It will make its way back up to land once more. And so, my last hope as I kneel here, is that the new form of this energy will be something positive and nourishing for all to benefit from.

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About Margaret Wang

In this crazy World, if we have something to say we should say it; whether in word, song, dance or paint. As writers, we write what we must, what we see, what we feel and what others experience but cannot articulate or understand. This is the duty and power of the writer; to release into the world our visions and our passions as if bleeding dry. Here at Stuck Pig I give you my word and hope that my voice reaches like minds so they know they are not alone, and unlike minds so they may share my glasses for a day. This is life lived as me, digested by me and translated for anyone caring to step out of their shoes for a few paragraph’s length. I am vulnerable and opinionated. You may judge me justly or unjustly, as I judge the rest of the world. I invite you to view Life through my window. View all posts by Margaret Wang

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